Carli Won't Sleep But the Lord Speaks:
She is already cruzing around the house, and working on her first few teeth. That being said I feel like there is a bit of de ja vu going on in my life.
Sleep has alluded us recently... again, and while in one of my sleep deprived stupors, the Lord brought to my mind the 23rd Psalm, of all things. Normally the Psalm would be read in times of danger, times of death, or deep sorrow, but the Holy Spirit used Carli to teach me something new from verse 2, that I had never thought of in that way before.
Psalm 23:1-2 The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want, (2) He MAKES me lie down in green pastures He leads me beside the still waters.
Broken Record in my Head:
The other day I was attempting to put Carli down for a nap I was trying to get her to go to sleep in her crib. The plan in my head was to lay her down and rub her back until she peacefully nodded off to sleep. That was the exact opposite of what happened. I'd lay her down and she'd sit back up, I'd lay her down again and she'd crawl to the side reaching for me. I'd lay her down again and she'd flip over to look at me, I'd lay her down and she'd pull up to standing. I knew she needed rest. She needed it desperately. Rest helps her little body grow, and replenish. She was having none of it.
As I stooped over the crib, gently pushing her back down each time she would frantically fight rest, I could hear verse 2 in my head. He makes me lie down, He makes me lie down, He makes me lie down. Over and over every time I would pick her up and lay her down, a small voice a midst the screaming, would remind me that my shepherd, supplies all my needs, he makes me lie down. Our heavenly father knows when we need rest, He wants us to experience the peace of green pastures and still waters. As Carli's mommy, I knew if she would just relax she could have some peace, rest, and she would feel so much better. How much more does our God long for us to rest, and rest in Him. Jesus said if even we evil humans know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more will our heavenly father take care of us. (Matthew 7:11)
"What part of NO don't you understand?":
I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to go and go until I can't anymore. Usually a brief break starts with me getting sick or having a mini break down. Come on now, I know I'm not the only one, who has had to explain to their 4 year old that mommy bit off more than she could chew. I'm not sure who coined the phrase but my mom reminds me every now and again to "Celebrate the No". You don't have to do everything that people ask you do to, it is okay to say no. I have some little drink napkins that say "Say no to the sign up sheet!" I mean, isn't that the truth? The Lord wants what you do for him to be from a glad and cheerful heart, not a "Why did I say I would do this" heart. I have been there more times than I can count. But if you notice, the next part of Psalm 23 says he restores my soul. Sometimes we need restoring. How do we expect to be restored if we won't stop. He is our Shepherd, our caretaker, our Father, there it pick us up give us a firm hug and a hush and lay us back down. Just like I found myself doing with Carli, "No lay down, little girl, No, lay down." Jesus does the same, and here recently I have been wondering, what part of no don't I understand.
A Yoke for Two (A lesson in Biblical Farming):
Sometimes its not busy-ness, sometimes its battle! When our enemy goes for the jugular, I find myself, screaming and flailing asking my Jesus just to stop the bleeding. There is no doubt that you have experienced some genuinely tough times as well. Its in those times that we need our shepherd to make us lie down the most. His firm, comforting voice telling us, "just lay down, I got this!"
Because sleeping problems run rampant in our house, its easy for me to use them as examples. Since we have moved, Liam has found his way to our room, on most nights. When we ask him why he comes to our room, I expect to hear that he had a nightmare, or he was scared, but most of the time do you know what he says? "I miss you guys, I needed to snuggle." Now I'm not sure if that is really why he is coming or if he knows that will melt mommy's heart, but either way sometimes we just need somebody.
Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30; Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Wow, that kind of takes my breath away! I'm exhausted and that sounds so blissful. what about you? Don't you want "rest for your soul"? Oh, I do!
For those of us who aren't biblical farmers, a yoke is what they would harness the ox or working animal into to help do the hard labor of farming. But the cool thing about this verse is that the yoke Jesus was talking about was made for two animals. Carved from wood to be a perfect molded fit to the animal. Jesus isn't saying here you put on this yoke and work by your self. Its a yoke for two! You don't ever have to feel like you are facing battle isolated.
Just like Liam needs a little cuddle in the middle of the night and knows I'm never far away, we can know our shepherd, who made us lie down, in this sweet green grass, isn't going to leave us there alone.
Stubbornness is Frustrating:
So it turns out that Carli has some stamina. I stood there laying her back down, she cried, wiggling her way back up even though she was exhausted. Over and over again, and every time I'd lay her down in my head I'd hear He makes me lie down, he makes me lie down. Then all of the sudden I wondered, Is this how you feel God? I bet it's frustrating when I don't listen, when I won't relax, or lay down when you know what is best for me. You know I just need to sit with you, listen to you, be still with you.
Spiritual Lunesta:
I wanted to finally start writing in the blog again because I feel like so many of the lessons the Lord has taught me recently has come from my kids, my family, and life in general. I know that if I'm feeling this way then, maybe you are too.
Maybe you need to just lay down, take a break in a green pasture and stare into still water for a time. Say No and rest your feet, or stop fighting long enough to let the shepherd stop the bleeding. Take a little spiritual Lunesta, and enjoy His peace. He knows what you need, with Him you'll want for nothing, but be prepared to stop, he will make you lay down.
